


A New Start

by bunnymatsu



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Abuse, Amnesia, Angst, Bad Decisions, Brainwashing, Caretaking, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Deception, Emotional Manipulation, Exploitation, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fights, Forced Relationship, Gaslighting, Heavy Angst, Immorality, Injury, Jealousy, Loss of Control, Loss of Trust, M/M, Manipulation, Manipulative Relationship, Memory Alteration, Memory Loss, Mental Coercion, Possessive Behavior, Possibly Unrequited Love, Puppy Play, Trust Issues, i love jared but i made him fucking twisted in this, jared is a liar, sorry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-31
Updated: 2021-01-31
Packaged: 2021-03-17 12:22:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29100228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bunnymatsu/pseuds/bunnymatsu
Summary: Ever since Evan Hansen had an accident that caused damage to his brain and memory function, he can't seem to remember his only friend or his girlfriend. Needing to return to work, Heidi allows Jared to take over trying to help him regain memories. Who better to trust than a family friend, right?Unfortunately, what Heidi doesn't know is that Jared and Evan had been in a fight before the accident, and Jared had an ulterior motive to help; jealousy. He wants to rewrite history his own way for Evan.
Relationships: Evan Hansen & Heidi Hansen, Evan Hansen & Jared Kleinman, Evan Hansen & Zoe Murphy, Evan Hansen/Jared Kleinman, Evan Hansen/Zoe Murphy, Heidi Hansen & Jared Kleinman, Jared Kleinman & Zoe Murphy
Kudos: 14





	A New Start

Jared can see the worried lines in Heidi's face more prominently today when he stops by the Hansen's house for the first time in about a month. He offers a smile that he hopes is reassuring, and she quickly returns it as she frantically paces the living room to find her keys.

"Jared, I really can't thank you enough for this. If you need anything at all, please call. You'll call, right?" She stops once she finds the keys on the mantle above the fake fireplace, then rushes over to grab her coat off the rack. It's cold outside, and Jared's hardly been here for five minutes but he thinks he can hear the clinking of hail against the roof. 

"It's no problem, seriously. He's my friend, of course I'd help out." Jared shrugs as he watches Heidi's reaction. She sighs in slight relief and he thinks he notices her shoulders lose some of their tension after she's finished slipping both her arms into her coat.

"Thank you, again. Um, remember, there's money for food on the counter, uh, the TV remote should be on the coffee table, but check the couch cushions if you don't see it. My work number is written on a post it on the fridge, and you've got my cell. Do you need anything else before I go?" 

"No, I'm fine, thanks. You have a good day at work, and I'll try my best to help Evan out." Jared smiles yet again. Heidi lets out another deep breath and nods, forcing a smile herself though she's clearly worried sick. Jared doesn't blame her. 

"Okay. I really need to just.. Stop stalling and go. Thank you." Heidi nods gratefully and goes out. Jared steps away from the door to avoid the frigid gust of wind that enters the house. 

He locks the front door after watching her get into her car, and suddenly the house is quiet. Jared takes a moment to just look at himself in the hallway mirror. His expression is blank now, and it matches how somewhat numb he feels. He wonders if he really has it in him to go through with this. For better or for worse, he does. Jared listens to the creaks of the old floorboards as he finally makes his way down that familiar hallway to the door right at the end of it. 

Jared pushes the door open gently and peeks inside. He can hear soft breathing more and more as he slowly approaches the sleeping body of Evan Hansen. He looks so peaceful, and for a moment, Jared almost can pretend that the reason for his presence is just some twisted dream. Maybe Evan is fine. Maybe Evan can still smile at him with recognition in his eyes, remember him, remember their past. Maybe there's hope somewhere. 

His wishful thinking is shattered when Evan stirs a few moments later. Jared watches carefully as those blue eyes open, widening in shock and fear. Evan struggles to sit up since he has a cast on his left arm and his right leg, and the weight distribution isn't something he's entirely used to yet. 

"Mom!" Evan shouts, looking around erratically. Jared winces as he listens to Evan's rapid breathing. 

"It's just me, Ev. Jared." 

"Did I- Did I know you? Where's mom?" Evan sounds almost like a scared child and it makes Jared's chest ache. If it weren't so heartbreaking, it might've been endearing. In a sick way, Jared still did find it endearing. He remembers that Evan is still waiting for an explanation of how he's supposed to know him, and decides that it's now or never. This is the best shot he has, whether it's morally right or not.

"I'm Jared. I'm your boyfriend, Evan. Heidi needed to go back to work so she can pay for you guys to have a house, and food, and water. You understand, right? She left you with me because she knows I love you." He sits on the edge of the bed slowly and carefully, as if Evan is a timid animal that he's trying not to scare away.

He can practically see the confusion on Evan's face. He sees the exact moment he starts to process all of that information. All he says is, 

"Oh."

"I know you don't remember, just.. Wait a moment." Jared pulls his phone out of the pocket of his jeans, typing in the passcode. He shows Evan his wallpaper, which he had set to a picture of the two of them together. He sees as Evan's gaze softens. Clearly he's taking this as proof. He's at least aware of the accident, that makes things a little bit easier.

"I'm sorry for freaking out, um. I just.. Didn't remember you. I didn't know I was.." Evan looks away and swallows. "Gay."

"You're bi." Jared laughs softly, raising a hand and letting it hover just above Evan's shoulder. "Can I touch you, or is that not okay yet?"

Evan's reassured by Jared's gentle demeanor and the fact that he's so sweetly asking for consent for something as simple as touching his shoulder. He nods after a few seconds, initially flinching when he feels the hand. Jared smiles apologetically and gives his shoulder a small squeeze. Evan can see love in his very gaze. He feels guilty for not remembering.

Jared feels like touching Evan is poisoning him. He feels almost nauseous, feels like his hand is burning in each place that it's in contact with the other. He can't bring himself to move it though. The pain is good, the pain is imaginary and he knows it. All of this is just play acting. He feels grateful for the accident itself, as fucked as that may be. Without it, Evan would still be ignoring him. He'd be cast aside because of a petty fight and some words that he couldn't take back. This was like divine intervention for him. A chance to reset, a chance to drive the narrative in the exact way he wanted. Evan was being so fucking compliant already anyway, and all he had to do was show a damn photograph. 

"Can you talk to me more? Tell me about- about us?" Evan speaks up after awhile, eyes finally meeting Jared's. This is all too easy. 

"What do you want to know about?"

"Um, everything? Like.. What did we do together? What.. What was our relationship like?" Evan doesn't make eye contact, and Jared tries to pretend that it doesn't hurt. 

"Of course I'll tell you about it." Of course, there wasn't really anything to tell. Not that Evan ever needs to find that out. 

"We used to go to parks together a lot, and to botanical gardens. Sometimes we'd go to the arcade, I'd always get us a shit ton of tickets and let you spend 'em." This part is true. Jared is being careful to mix some truth into this, it makes the lie easier to maintain. He glances at Evan, who is smiling softly at the thought. It makes Jared's heart melt.

"What else?"

"I had a ton of cute nicknames for you. I'd sleep over a lot, and you liked it when I'd hold you and call you those things. You used to steal my shirts a lot. In fact, I bet there's at least one in your closet right now."

"Really?" Evan watches as Jared stands and walks over to the closet. Sure enough, he finds one quickly. In truth, it's there because Jared is just forgetful. Evan believes every word Jared's saying though, and he seems almost excited to learn of this. It's cute. It's adorable how Evan just seems so much like an innocent and curious little puppy, just needing guidance. He needs to be trained, Jared thinks to himself. He can take on that role. 

"You said you called me cute nicknames. Like what?" Evan's eyes sparkle. Jared remembers seeing them when they looked almost blank in that hospital bed a few weeks ago. His chest pangs again, and he isn't sure if what he's feeling is adoration or guilt, or some amalgamation of the two.

"Um.. There were a few. Just- Normal ones. Ev, Evvy, baby, babes, sweetheart, angel. Sometimes you liked it if I called you puppy, because I'd always tell you that you reminded me of one." Jared can see the way Evan's expression softens even more, the soft tint of color on his cheeks.

"That's.. Really sweet. Do you- Do you have more pictures? Please, I want to try and remember more. I don't want to lose this forever, it sounds so nice." Evan chews his lip, and Jared quickly nods. He opens his phone again, finding another picture of the two of them. In this one, they're in the same bedroom, Jared's holding a peace sign, and Evan looks to be in the middle of laughing.

Evan stares for maybe a little bit too long. Jared stares too, but at Evan rather than the picture. He studies his expressions for any hint of remembrance. 

"We look so happy." 

"We were. We will be." Jared reaches out and tentatively takes Evan's hand. Evan, to his slight surprise, tightens his grip and squeezes it gently. The plan is working better than he thought, but to be fair, Evan is vulnerable. He's still on God only knows what combination of meds, still desperate for contact from anyone. Hearing that he apparently once had a partner who loved him, well, Jared knows that it must be extremely tempting to just lean right into that idea. It's what he's counting on.


End file.
